How much truck could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Paul Ryan’s truck

Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan has lost his truck after he claims it was eaten by woodchucks while in storage this past winter.

During a speech in Washington, D.C. at the Economic Club, Ryan said the critters had got into his SUV.

My car was eaten by animals,” he said. “It’s just dead.

The 2007 Chevrolet Suburban was at Ryan’s mother’s house in Madison, Wisconsin. When it wouldn’t start, he took it to the mechanic and was told the culprit were woodchucks had gnawed at the wires.

Woodchucks, or whistle pigs as they’re also known, have become so common in The Badger State that Gov. Scott Walker signed a bill last year that removed them from Wisconsin’s protected species list, which lifted restrictions on hunting them.

In fact, a similiar case was reported this spring to police department in Madison, according to WPTA, when the private cars of several officers started having problems tracked back to chewed wires and they caught the furry suspect on security camera. It was trapped and released into the wild, but they’ve kept preventative measures in place.

Ryan didn’t say if his Chevy was parked outside or in a garage, but experts suggest keeping an eye out for burrows near where vehicles are kept, spreading rodent repellant in suspect areas or spraying it on specific parts that you’d like to protect. Consumer Reports also recommends marking an area with mouse-deterrent tape that’s infused with capsicum, the substance that makes peppers spicy.

That flavoring might have actually been more appropriate on one of Ryan’s previous rides, when he drove the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile one summer as a teen.

As far as his motoring future is concerned, he won’t be getting a new Suburban like his old one, which was built at a now-shuttered GM factory in his hometown of Janesville. Instead, he plans to pick up a Ford F-150 when he leaves office in January.

h/t: NPR

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Peg Fong is also in recovery from newspapers

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