Wednesday Zen Moment: Pet raccoon smokes too much weed, seeks help from firefighters

Let’s call this your not-so-standard 4:20 call at 2 a.m.

The Wayne Township Fire Department handles all kinds of calls in Indianapolis, but nothing compares to this request for service.

“Our firefighters at Station 82 were awakened at 2 am last week to a person seeking treatment for her pet Raccoon,” the department  just announced on social media. “What was his illness you ask? The raccoon had smoked too much weed. Yes! It happened!”

So many questions.

Pet trash panda?

Dope-smoking trash panda?

Does a stoned furry masked bandit get the munchies?

Definitely story of the day.

Any day, really.

“And as much as we love animals, there wasn’t much we could do,” the fire department said. “We do appreciate that our citizens turn to us in their toughest moments for help. We hope in time the Raccoon made a full recovery. Sorry we couldn’t do more.”

Pro tip:


PS: The photo above is of a rescued raccoon at the Toronto Wildlife Centre.

The Wayne Township Fire Department didn’t get a photo of its stoned raccoon.

However, the department’s cartoon depiction of one very high raccoon really is everything.

About the author

Recovering newspaper reporter.

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